Falling Into Silence
by Aecoris
Summary: Deaf!Dean. Dean loses his hearing on a hunt Sam gets a call while at Stanford and goes to pick Dean up. They don't stay for long as Jess ends up on the ceiling. Dean and Sam go back on the hunt together even though Dean's deaf. AU Season 1. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

_Here's a new story for you all! It's the one that won from my poll, the deaf!Dean story! The other 3 are tied so I don't know what I'll write next! This is only a prologue so it's really short! I just want to see if people are interested in it before I post more! Let me know what you think!There will be more angst and grumpy Dean to come! This chapter is just dealing with all the surprises that come his way! Here's the summary. _

_A deaf!Dean story. Dean loses his hearing on a hunt and John leaves while he's in the hospital. Sam gets a call from the hospital while at Stanford and goes to pick Dean up. When they arrive at the apartment however Jess is on the ceiling and Dean wants to continue hunting. Sam's resistant but Dean keeps insisting that he can still hunt without hearing. It will be an episodic story. Like the same plots happen in the story that do in the show, but this time around Dean is deaf._

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* * *

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He woke up to a quiet room. Extremely quiet...too quiet.

Dean Winchester didn't dare want to open his eyes. Was he still in the old building that the spirit had been possessing? Was the spirit gone or had he managed to burn the bones in time? Had he gotten out and passed out? Had someone taken him? It was just too quiet....

But he knew he had to open his eyes. He couldn't just lie here.

Dean blinked and was met with an intense light that he knew could not be in the abandoned building he had been in. As his eyes adjusted he knew he was in a hospital. But why?? The longer Dean adjusted to being awake the more he realized that nothing was really wrong with him from what he could tell. His head was pounding but other than that....he could move his arms, legs, he was breathing on his own...A headache shouldn't have caused him to end up in the hospital!

"What the hell?" He mumbled, or at least thought he did. His mouth moved but no words came out. His throat was probably just dry....yeah, that's it....

Dean went to talk again and he felt his throat vibrating as if he was speaking but he couldn't hear himself saying anything. Swallowing, Dean hoisted himself up on the bed and slowly lowered his legs down off the edge. He needed to know what the hell was going on.

But as he was getting up his exhausted body slipped and he ended up crashing to the ground.

If you fall to the ground, aren't you supposed to hear something? A crash, a thud, anything at all?!?!

Dean couldn't hear a thing.

He pulled at his ears and stuck his fingers in them, his ears had to be plugged up or something. But they weren't even hurting! It was as if someone just shut the sound off, not even the buzz of silence was coming through his ears, nothing, nada.

Something was wrong, something was horribly wrong.

Dean hadn't even noticed that a nurse had walked into the room. When she touched his shoulder he bolted upright. Her mouth was moving quickly but nothing was coming out.

"I...I can't hear you." He went to say and wondered if it even came out. But from the look of sympathy on the nurse's face Dean knew that he could still indeed talk, just couldn't hear himself.

The nurse's mouth was moving again, slower this time but Dean couldn't make out what she was saying. It was just too much at once! He learned to read lips while hunting but only a few short phrases, nothing like this before.

Dean's never felt so out of control in his entire life.

He shook his head screaming, or at least he meant to scream, something at her that had to do with not being able to hear. She frowned and grabbed the clipboard she brought in on the side table by his bed. Now why didn't she think of that in the first place??

She scribbled something down quickly and then handed the clipboard to Dean.

_I'm sorry sir, but when we found you, you had hit your head pretty bad. We feared that you would have lost your hearing and we were right. You're deaf._

Dean blinked and stared at her, not believing what he was reading. Deaf?? He had lost his hearing? How the hell does that happen?!

The nurse started scribbling again and Dean didn't even know that he had asked how it had happened until she showed him the paper.

_There was an explosion in the building you were in. There seemed to be a gas leak. It was a pretty old building. Your eardrums were damaged and so was your auditory nerve. We tried surgery but it wasn't likely to work. I'm sorry. _

Dean shook his head_. _What was she trying to tell him?? That he was going to be like this forever?

_"_It's permanent?" His soundless voice asked. The only thing proving to him that he was talking was the nurses response in writing.

_Yes. Again, I'm so sorry. There's nothing else we can do. We have someone coming to pick you up._

And before Dean could ask who it was that was coming he caught sight of someone coming into the doorway from the corner of his eye.

Sammy.

He was taller, leaner, and looked more grown-up but it was most certainly his little brother. His little brother with the most pathetic, sad look on his face.

Seeing that look on his brother's face made Dean forget for a moment that he was mad at Sam. He couldn't help it as he called out his brother's name.

"Sammy?"

And what Sam said next, Dean didn't have to be able to hear to understand.

"Dean."


	2. Chapter 2

_Next chapter is up and it's longer! Chapter 3 will start with the boys hunting! I think I'm going to make this pretty episodic like it was in the show. But different things are going to happen of course with a deaf!Dean! Thanks for your interest in this story! :) Dean isn't going to deal with his disability all at one time, it's going to be more of a over time thing. Because you know Dean, he always acts like everything is going to be fine around Sammy!  
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* * *

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If Dean was freaked out about losing his hearing a few minutes ago, it was nothing compared to how he was feeling now.

His little brother was there, talking to him, and Dean couldn't hear a word he was saying. Seeing his brother's lips moving with no sound coming out was the hardest thing Dean ever had to deal with. It had been nearly four years since Dean had properly seen Sam and almost two since he last heard his voice. He had begun to almost forget what Sammy's voice sounded like and now he would never hear his little brother's voice again. What if his voice had changed? Dean would never know.

Sam was saying something to the nurse now and by the look on his face Dean knew he was yelling. Had Sam known he was deaf before he got here?

Sam was doing motions with his hands and so was the nurse. Dean knew when people talked they used their hands a lot but he hadn't really noticed it before. Before he would be concentrating on what people were saying but now...it was different.

The nurse left suddenly and Dean didn't care why. Sam came up to him slowly, like he was scared he was going to break Dean. Who the hell does he think he is?! Dean's deaf, not crippled! When Sam finally reached him he put a hand on his shoulder and Dean couldn't help his reaction as he struck out and punched Sam square in the face. At least his aim wouldn't be off because he couldn't hear. He'd still be able to hunt, right? It's not like he lost his sight and couldn't see anything. Sure, maybe he wouldn't be able to hear something sneak up behind him but he could still fight back just as good as he ever did before. He'd just have to be more careful.

Sam stumbled back from the unexpected punch in the face and stared at Dean in disbelief. His mouth was moving again but Dean knew what he was saying. Something along the lines of 'What the hell was that for?' His little brother could be so stupid sometimes....

"I haven't seen you in almost four god damned years and now you decide to show up just because you heard I'm deaf?!" Dean tried his best to yell at Sam although he didn't know how loud he was speaking. Sam flinched at the last word Dean spoke and Dean rolled his eyes in response.

Sam looked down and was muttering something, staring at the floor.

"I can't hear you asshole. You could at least look up so I can try to read your lips." Dean shouldn't really be this mean to Sam. It's the first time they've seen each other in so long and the should be happy, or at least pretending to be. But Dean's angry at his brother for abandoning him and angry at the world for taking away his hearing. He wasn't in the mood to be nice right now.

Sam looked up and Dean could tell he hurt his brother with his words. He said whatever he had been saying before and Dean recognized it as 'I'm sorry.'

"You're sorry." Dean huffed and hoped he was sounding just as angry as he felt. "You're the one that took off without saying goodbye to me! You're the one that left me and never bothered to try and contact me in any way for the longest time!"

Sam ducked his head again but then brought it back up quickly. He said something else that Dean didn't understand.

"What?" Dean grumbled, not being able to understand what Sam had just told him. Sam looked at him again and spoke, this time Dean could read his lips forming the words 'I know.'

"You know?" Dean asked just in case he misunderstood and Sam mouthed the word 'Yes'. "Know what?"

Sam opened his mouth but then eyed the sheet of paper the nurse left. He hurried over and quickly scribbled something down. Sammy's always been a quick writer.

_I know that I'm the one that left. I know I wouldn't call you. And I'm sorry. It was wrong of me. You could have called too though, you know? I was too afraid to call you because I knew you were angry at me for leaving. I didn't want to hear you angry. But I'm here now, and I'm so sorry. I want you to come with me Dean_

Dean stopped him right there. "Whoa, whoa. Come with you where??"

Sam glanced at him but continued on writing.

_I want you to come up with me to Stanford. You can't be on your own right now._

Dean's anger just rose up once again. "I can't be on my own?! I'm perfectly capable of being on my own! So what? I can't hear, big deal! I'm not an invalid!"

Sam scowled before going back to the paper.

_I know you're not an invalid! But you just found out you were deaf Dean! It's going to take some time to get used to and I want you to be with me for a while until you get used to it._

Dean was fuming at his brother's written words. He by no means wanted to go back with Sam. But even though he was furious with his brother....he couldn't deny that he just wanted to be with Sam for a little while. He had missed him so much and he didn't want to lose him just yet.

He'd go with Sam for a couple days, just so he could see his brother for a while before he was forced to disappear from his life again. Then he'd leave and go back to hunting, and looking for Dad, just like he had been doing before. It would be like nothing had changed. Almost.

"Fine." He grumbled, looking away when Sam smiled brightly at him.

* * *

Dean hadn't realized how different it would be without his hearing until he was out on the road again with Sam.

Sam wouldn't let him drive because he didn't know where he was going. But even so, it should feel the same, being in the Impala with Sam at his side on the open road....

But it couldn't have been any different.

There was no sound of the Impala's rumbling engine, no sound of he wind howling past the open windows, no sound of the accelerator, no sound of his prized music blasting through the speakers when Sam turned the radio on....

His music is what should've hit Dean the worst, but what really did it was the silence between him.

There was no longer any of Sam's grumbling, laughing, whining. Nothing. Sam had been a little shy in school but with Dean he was always a chatterbox. Dean knew that even with four years of distance between them they would've been able to find something to talk about, or fight about.

But now Dean could talk but he wouldn't get Sam's answer in response. Nothing but pure silence.

He missed his brother's voice so much that it physically hurt.

Sam was talking, Dean knew he was talking. But he found himself unable to look at Sam anymore, to see his mouth moving with nothing coming out. It brought pangs of pain to his heart and he had to look away. He felt his eyes watering up and pushed the tears back.

But it wouldn't matter soon that he couldn't hear Sammy. Because soon he was going to be hunting again, by himself.

* * *

Sam sighed when his brother turned away from him and stared out the window. This was so fucking messed up, talking to his brother but Dean not being able to hear a word he said.

He hadn't believed it when the doctor had told him Dean may be deaf, that they'd have to wait and see until he woke up to be positive. They said there was only a slim chance that he'd be able to hear, but Sam had held onto that chance with all he had, unable to even think of the alternative.

But when he had gone there and seen the terror in Dean's eyes...Sam knew it was true. And then the nurse telling him the truth as if just to rub in the pain even more....Sam had flipped out on her. Yelling curses and screaming that his brother couldn't be deaf, he just _couldn't_! She had left to give him space and then Sam had been left with his deaf brother.

Dean had been angry, he still was, and Sam didn't blame him. He had made some dumb mistakes in his past and the biggest one had been not calling Dean. Sam had been too afraid to call Dean because he knew his brother was angry with him for leaving. And then the more time that passed by the more afraid Sam got, thinking that now Dean would be even more angry. So Sam just kept putting off calling Dean. The only times he had called, or Dean called him, was on their birthdays or Christmas. Dean hadn't sounded angry then but Sam knew he was just pretending for the sake of the holiday. He knew any other day Dean would be furious, yelling at him on the phone, wouldn't he??

But now Dean was deaf, from some so-called explosion. He wondered if it really was an explosion or something else entirely. He'd have to have Dean tell him what happened one he was back on good terms with his brother, if he would ever be on good terms with him again.

What was going to happen now? He doubted Dean would want to stay with him. Knowing how stubborn his brother was Dean would most likely want to continue hunting. Sam shook his head at the thought. He'd get killed hunting while not being able to hear!

Sam closed his eyes, trying told hold back the scream that threatened to escape...until he realized that Dean wouldn't hear it.

So he screamed, he cursed and cried. The whole time Dean didn't even flinch, didn't look away from the open window.

That just made Sam scream louder. If this was so hard on him, just how hard was it on Dean?!

* * *

They made the trip in one go. Eleven hours straight. Most of the ride was silent but Sam found it oddly convenient that Dean had been relatively close to Standford, in Phoenix Arizona. Sam had taken a short plane ride there that only took a little longer than an hour. He pulled into the driveway of his apartment he shared with Jess, wishing that Dean would stay. But he knew better. He'd be lucky if Dean would last a week.

Speaking of a week, that's how long the doctors had said Dean had been out of it. He had been knocked unconscious in the explosion that took his hearing. But the doctors informed him than other than being deaf, Dean was perfectly healthy. He would have a bit of a headache for a while but that was nothing permanent.

Dean glanced over at him when the car stopped but didn't say anything, just stared at Sam warily.

"We're here." Sam said. Wondering why he was still talking to his brother when he couldn't hear anymore. But it's not like Sam can just stop talking to him, that would be weird. And he's sure Dean would appreciate it more if Sam continued to talk to him. Dean could read his lips sometimes and maybe after practice he could be a pro at it. If anyone can do it, it's his big brother.

Dean looked away from Sam and over to his apartment. A look passed over his face that Sam couldn't read.

"Nice place." Dean told him in a little too-loud conversational tone. It must be so strange for Dean to talk but not be able to hear his own voice. What would that be like?!

Sam just gave Dean a small smile and got out of the Impala. He watched as Dean did the same and shut the door behind him. Then he felt his eyes pool up when Dean turned around to make sure that the door had closed because he hadn't heard it.

They walked up to the apartment in silence. Sam knew that Dean was still upset with him and he wished he knew what to do to make it better. Hell, he wished he knew the right way to try to communicate with his brother now.

It was early morning and Jess was awake sitting on the couch when they arrived. She jumped up as she heard them walking in and went to meet Dean. Sam saw the uncertainty on her face. She didn't know how to act around Dean with his disability. Sam had called her to let her know what had indeed happened to his brother on the car ride here and he knew Jess didn't want to do anything to upset Dean.

"Hi." She said in a cheery voice to his brother and held out her hand.

"Hey." Dean said as he shook her hand. His voice came out much louder than it was intended but Jess didn't even flinch.

"I umm put the captions on the TV." Jess said and pointed to their TV. Sam didn't know if she was talking to him or Dean.

Sam saw Dean look at the TV and watched his body visibly sag, his face crumpling a bit as he looked at the words flashing across the screen in place of the sounds he couldn't hear.

* * *

Dean shouldn't have been surprised to see that Sam ad a girl living with him but he was. He remembered Sam telling him in one of their few conversations a couple years ago that he was dating a blond named Jess. This must be her, Dean realized. But he couldn't help but feel hurt that Sam hadn't told him that she would be here. Well, then again it's not like Sam could really tell him.

He managed to spend a few days with them at their apartment. Just because he was so amazed by how happy Sammy seemed with Jess. She took care of him so well and it made Dean see that he had not taken care of Sammy as well as she did. He should have done a better job like Jess was. Dean had never been able to make Sam this happy.

Jess came into the main room where Dean slept on the couch sometimes to talk to him. Probably because she felt bad. She would write in her notebook to him in a way of having conversations. Them writing to him was a slow and annoying process of communicating...but what other way did they really have??

_Sam's glad you're here._ She wrote to him on the fourth day.

He had huffed. "Yeah right."

_He is. I haven't seen him as happy as he is now. I mean, he's worried about you but he's happy that you're here._

Dean had looked away and back at the captioned TV screen. Watching the football game in silence. He knew he wasn't exactly dealing, just ignoring the fact that he was deaf so he wouldn't have to think about it. But he'd be okay right? Pretty soon he'd be hunting and everything would be back to normal.

Jess tapped his shoulder and he looked over, peering down at what she wrote.

_He talked about you. Not a lot. Because I could tell how hard it was on him. But when he did, he'd break down. He'd tell me so much about you. How you were a great brother and how he wished he could see you again._

And somehow those written words made it even harder for him to be here. If Sam had missed him then he better leave soon before Sam got used to him being here. He didn't want to hurt the kid.

"I'm going to leave in the morning. You guys won't have to deal with me anymore after that." He sighed. Jess looked sad as she wrote her next words.

_I wish you'd stay._

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* * *

_

So when Dean woke up to the smell of smoke and burning flesh, he couldn't help but think maybe it wouldn't have happened if he had left earlier.

He followed the smell into Sam and Jess's room where he was met with his brother screaming silently and staring up at the ceiling. The room was engulfed with flames and in the center of the burning ceiling was Jess...just like their mother.

Dean rushed in screaming his brother's name and somehow managed to drag a flailing Sam out of the room, out of the apartment.

When the firemen came Dean knew it was too late. He sat on the ground holding his little brother in his arms, letting him sob for his loved girlfriend as the men tried to quench the fire with no success.

And that was the moment where Dean knew everything had changed. He knew Sam would want to get revenge, go back into hunting, try to find their father.

He had a grieving brother, missing father, dead brother's girlfriend, and the thing that killed their mother was back...

And he was deaf.

Just fricken' great.

* * *

_Okay I'm going to have Dean explain to Sam next chapter how he had been looking for their father before the accident and how he was on his way to ask Sam for help. Dean didn't tell Sam anything about that yet because he was just planning to leave and go back to hunting without letting Sam know._

_I was thinking about maybe having Dean learn sign language a little? I don't know. Do you think he and Sam should so they have an easier way to communicate even though Dean can still talk?_ _Thanks for the reviews! This chapter was hard to write because I wasn't sure exactly how to end it but now I'll have Sam and Dean back on the road and hunting and this is what I've been looking forward to writing! Dean hunting with Sam while he's deaf!_


	3. Chapter 3

Nothing at all could've prepared Dean for the following week. Sam was grieving, angry and seeking for revenge and Dean couldn't even be there to listen to him let it all out. All he could do was sit there as Sam either paced back and forth across the motel room or curled up in a ball on the bed. He could be there to put a hand on Sam's back or comfort him when he cried but that's all he was there for- comfort but not support. He couldn't be there for support when he didn't know what Sam was saying.

Sam couldn't stop the endless nightmares of Jess burning alive on the ceiling. And the scariest thing was...he had seen it happen, he had been having these nightmares before she died too! But of course Sam had to blow it off, thinking that it was just some really crazy dream. What he should've done was throw Jess and Dean in a car and get the hell away from Stanford, away from California. But now it was too late. Jess was dead and Dean was deaf and here Sam was...feeling alone and helpless.

Dean was there, Sam knew he wasn't alone physically but he was in ever other sense of the word. Dean had only known Jess for less than a week, there's no way he could understand what Sam is feeling, no way to relate to him. Dean can't be there to listen to Sam's rants and try to calm him down.

So he's laying in bed the morning of Jess's funeral, crying silently when he feels a hand on his back, rubbing soothing circles. Sam turns around and eyes Dean sitting next to him with bloodshot eyes. Why is Dean looking upset?

"I shouldn't have let you take me to the apartment. Maybe if I wasn't there this never would've happened." Dean told him in what was obviously meant to be a whisper. And then Sam realized he had been too busy being upset with Jess's death and missing her that he didn't see that his brother was suffering as well. He was placing the blame on his shoulders once again for something that was not at the least his fault.

"No! Don't you say that! This is not your fault Dean! Not at all! This would've happened either way! I'm lucky you were there to get me out or else I would've been dead as well!" Sam practically yelled at him. His brother looked at him with wide, confused eyes and Sam growled with frustration at himself. He had forgotten about Dean's deafness again and now Dean was probably thinking he was upset at him and blaming him. He reached onto the nightstand and grabbed the notepad there.

_Not your fault! It was the thing that killed Mom! If you weren't there I'd be dead too!_

Dean read the words that Sam handed to him on the paper and then looked down at the bedsheets, running his fingers over the patterns.

"It's not right. It's not fair." Dean said and this time it did come out quietly. Dean's eyes were glazed over and that's when Sam realized something that made him want to smack himself in the face.

Dean _did_ know what he was going through, he _did_ understand. He remembered losing Mom the same way and he had to live through the pain of having someone you loved with your whole life suddenly die by something evil. They had to get this thing. Find it and kill it. It wasn't going to be easy with Dean not being able to hear but his brother wanted to hunt. He believed that he could and that's enough to make Sam believe in him too. Dean's never let him down so far.

They would get revenge for the thing that killed their mother and Jess. They will not die in vain.

He grabbed the piece of paper back.

_You still want to hunt?_

Dean read it with somewhat of a look of shock on his face. "Yeah. I do."

_Good. Cuz we have work to do._

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The next day Dean was going through the paperwork he had printed out prior to the accident. He shuffled through them, trying to find a connection between the men that had been victims in this case but he could come up with none other than the obvious fact that they were all men.

He felt a breeze and looked up as Sam came through the door with food and a bunch of old-looking books as well as a bag full of stuff. Dean got up to help carry some of the crap and took the books and of course the food. He opened up the bag and smiled when he smelt the aroma of pancakes. He placed the food on the table and dropped the books on one of the beds before he got a look at the cover. _American Sign Language. _What the hell?

He turned around to glare at Sam and his little brother just gave him an obvious shrug. Saying something that looked like _"You"_ and_ "Need"_.

"I don't need any of this Sammy! As if you couldn't tell I can talk perfectly fine!"

Sam winced and Dean sighed as he probably screamed in Sam's ear without knowing. Man, this deaf stuff sucked.

Sam ripped open a package and Dean saw that it was a laptop. Sam held out a finger as if to say 'one minute' and started fiddling with the thing. Dean growled and decided to dig into his breakfast while Sam did whatever he was doing. Fifteen minutes later Sam had the laptop up and running and a lovely paragraph for Dean to read on Microsoft Word.

_I know you can talk fine but we need an easier way to communicate. You don't have to learn every single word possible, just the main ones so we could talk with each other. And yeah, I can hear you but you can't hear me. This way if I learn it, I can have a way of communicating with you when I can't write or type anything. And it will come in really useful for hunts. i think it would be a good thing for us. We can work on lip reading too._

And even though Dean was thoroughly objected to the idea at first he had to admit Sammy was right. If they learned it Sam would have a way to 'talk' and Dean would have a way to 'hear'.

"Alright.....alright Sammy." Dean nodded and Sam smiled a bit for the first time since Jess died. "To tell you the truth, I was actually about to come here and ask you to help me look for Dad. He's been missing for...about three weeks now." He looked up at Sam who looked worried but didn't say anything. Dean was going to have to get used to saying monologues without Sammy interrupting him anymore. It was going to be weird. "Go ahead and write on that laptop if you want to tell me or ask me anything. Like...tap me if you want to tell me anything and type it up." Dean told him and waved at the computer. Sam nodded and sat down next to him on the bed with the laptop on his lap.

"Anyway, I'd been on that hunt in Arizona and Dad had been on this hunt here in California and..." Sure enough Sam tapped him already. Dean waited for him to type up something that actually only took a couple seconds.

_Dad let you go on a hunt alone?!_

Dean rolled his eyes. His little brother really didn't have a clue on what had gone on when he was away at college. Dean had been going on hunts alone almost right after Sam left. But Dead decided not to tell him that. "I'm 26 dude!" He told him and Sam just shook his head a little.

"Okay...well...he was on this hunt in Jericho California where a man disappeared from his car. Just vanished into thin air. Well, I looked it up and there have been ten that vanished the same way in the past twenty years." He told his brother and handed him the stack of research he had. Sam looked through it but it didn't seem like he had any questions so Dean continued. "They were all men and all vanished on the same five mile stretch of road. And check this out." He said and dug in his pockets for his cell before tossing it to his brother. "I can't hear it anymore but I remember what I heard. Listen to the voice mail I got from Dad."

Dean watched Sam's face as he listened to the voice mail. It was weird how much you could just tell from a person's facial expression or eyes that Dean hadn't noticed before. Because right now he's not very good at reading lips, so he decided to look at the whole picture and notice facial expressions. But him and Sam have always been able to read each other and even know what the other is thinking just by looking at each other. This should come in very useful when they want to communicate.

Right now Sam seemed to be straining to hear something other than what their father was saying. He pressed the button again to replay it, glanced at Dean, and then started typing.

_Did you try playing it slower? There's a woman's voice saying "I can never go home."_

"Yep, I did. Good job geek boy."

_But what does that mean???_

"I have no idea. But we have to find out. Dad's in trouble. C'mon, let's get going." Dean told his brother and stood to stand up. As he began walking he felt himself start to lose his balance and had to hold on to the wall for support. Ugh, this was annoying. Ever since he had lost his hearing Dean had some problems with balance and he became nauseous sometimes along with it. It kind of scared him but he figured it was something that had to do with getting used to the world without noise. But still...it was really really weird.

Sam was up and all over him in a second and Dean had to bat a hand at him to shove him away. This is why he's been trying to hide this....whatever it is from Sam. Sam has enough problems to deal with.

"I'm fine." Dean said because he knew Sam was asking. "I just feel a little sick, it's nothing."

At that Sam ran back to his laptop and started typing quickly. Dean sighed, this running back and forth to the computer was already getting on his nerves. He was actually looking forwards to learning some sign language. Sam handed him the laptop a couple minutes later with another fricken' paragraph.

_The doctor told me you might suffer from something called vertigo when you lost your hearing. But I didn't think you had it because you didn't say anything. The area around your ears actually helps with coordination and stuff. Since your hearing is suddenly gone it's going to take you some time to adjust but it's not permanent or anything like that. Just don't like make quick sudden moves for a while._

Dean snorted. "Wow, that will come in real handy with hunting!" Who knew that being deaf would affect other things as well? What the hell?

Again Sam started typing. Okay, that was extremely annoying.

_It won't be for long. You think you should sit out this one?_

Dean shook his head at that, making his head spin a little more. But he'd be fine, this was nothing. "Nah, I've had much worse than this."

Sam didn't look too happy but they continued packing and Dean went to grab for the keys on the table when Sam snatched them up.

"What the hell man? I'm deaf, not blind! I can still drive just as well!" Dean growled. He really wanted to drive his baby to give back some sense of normalcy and familiarity in his life.

But Sam shook his head. He mouthed "I know" and then "But". Man, there's always a 'but'! Then Sam thrust the sign language book at him and it was obvious that he said "Read". And as much as he wanted to drive his baby he wanted a better way to communicate even more. He had to start to learn some words. He sighed and rolled his eyes. But next time he's driving no matter what Sam says.

* * *

"Hey Sammy." Dean practically shouted at Sam as the younger brother was driving. Dean had been searching through the books and signing to himself. Dean probably meant to mouth the words silently but every now and then Sam would hear him whisper the words without knowing as he signed them.

Sam turned to face Dean. "What?" He asked and he saw Dean raise his hand up in what Sam knew was the letter 'B' sign. Dean then hit the side of his chin with the side of his index finger. Umm...okay?

"What did you just say to me?" Sam asked and his brow furrowed. He didn't like not knowing what his brother was telling him, which is probably how Dean felt all the time now.

"I just called you a bitch." Dean grinned. "And this is one you'll have to know..." Dean held up the same hand with all his fingers splayed except the middle finger bent down.

Sam smiled. "Let me guess, that's 'jerk' right?"

"Yep, well actually...it means 'you jerk' but same thing. So yeah..." Dean said and did the 'bitch' sign again with a smirk.

Sam rolled his eyes and did the 'jerk' sign right back at him.

* * *

On the car ride to Jericho Dean had learned and practically mastered 'Bitch' 'Jerk' 'Hungry' 'Food' 'Stupid' 'Hunt' and 'Ghost'. Which meant Sam knew them as well from having Dean show him multiple times. There were others that he learned but forgot exactly how to do them or got them mixed up. Sam cold tell Dean was getting frustrated but it was bound to be hard to memorize all these signs, especially for twenty-something year olds. It would be much easier if they were still growing and their brain was developing but when you try to pick up a language as an adult, it's tough. They would have to make up some of their own signs to go with some of the creatures that didn't exist in the sign language.

Sam was about to cross the town's bridge to get to the library when he spotted a couple of police cars up ahead.

"Hey, what's goin' on up there?" Dean asked and tried to get a better view.

"I don't know." Sam replied before he remembered that his brother couldn't hear but he covered up by shrugging. He parked the car on the side of the road and turned to his brother. "I'm going." He said and pointed to the cops.

"I'm coming too." Was Dean's answer and Sam had to grab his sleeve to prevent him from getting out of the car.

"No. You can't." Sam told him and hated himself for having to say it but it was true. Dean wouldn't be able to understand what the cops were saying. It just wouldn't work.

But Dean wasn't going to give in as he glared at Sam. "I said I'm coming. I can ask some questions and you'll tell me what they said later. Just like...If I'm about to ask something that wouldn't make sense in the conversation just nudge me or something and I'll shut up."

Sam sighed but he knew he was not going to win this argument. If he somehow did force Dean to stay in the car he knew it would blow Dean's confidence. Dean's self esteem has always been shot to hell and telling him he couldn't do something that he has always done before would just crush him. "Come on." He told his brother and waved a hand at him to signal him to come along. Dean grinned like a madman upon getting his way. Sam just hoped Dean would realize that there are some things that he's just not going to be able to do just yet.

This was going to be interesting.

* * *

_So yeah, this is going to go through the hunts the boys actually went on in the show. Except it's going to be different of course because Dean's deaf! I don't think I'm going to do every single episode...maybe that would be too much. But yeah, I'm excited to write deaf!Dean_ _and I'm glad you guys like it as well. If you have any suggestions let me know! I think I got the whole 'bitch/jerk' thing right but I'm not sure. lol The boys are going to start learning sign and Dean's gonna realize it won't be so easy. There's a lot more words to learn than the few he did! And hunting won't be a walk in the park either! Thanks for your reviews and I hop you liked this chapter! :)_


	4. Chapter 4

_Sorry this took so long! I hope it's okay though! For some reason this was hard to write! I'm thinking of actually ending this story here. And writing more of this Dean and Sam in other stories. Let me know what you think after you finsihed it!_

* * *

As they're walking out to the police cars Sam can't help but feel extremely worried. Dean was not going to have a clue what the cops were talking about. This was going to blow his confidence even more.

They neared the cops that were looking down the bridge and a car that was part of the crime scene. Sam heard them talking about the kid's girlfriend who was putting poster up around town when Dean decided to blurt out.

"You fellas had one just like this last month huh?" His voice was loud, but not too loud. Dean casually walked around the car, examining it.

"Who are you?" One of the officers asked, walking up to Dean.

Luckily Dean knew what to expect and what the guy was most likely asking. "Federal Marshals." Dean said and flashed a badge, looking back at the car.

"You two are awfully young to be Federal Marshals aren't you?" The officer asked, eyeing them up and down with a quizzical look. Sam was clueless of what to say and Dean was always the one that would come up with wise remarks in these situations....

"Thanks, that's awfully nice of you." Dean smirked. No way...Dean understood what the man said? But how? He wasn't that good at lip reading...But then again, when Sam thought about it....all Dean really had to catch was the officer saying "young" the rest was obvious. "You did have another one just like this right?" Dean went on, his voice rising even more as he walked over to the car, trusting Sam to catch what the officer said next.

"Yeah that's right, about a mile up the road." The officer replied and Sam decided to cut in just incase Dean decided to say something stupid.

"So this victim....you knew him?" Sam asked

"Well yeah, in a town like this everyone knows everyone."

There was a short pause before Dean's voice was heard. "Any links between the victims besides they were all men?"

"Nope, none at all." The officer said with a shake of his head.

"So what's the theory?" Sam asked, watching as his brother studied the car. Sam was keeping an unusually strong watch on him which seemed kind of silly. Dean may be deaf but he wasn't stupid and going to get into any trouble.

"Honestly we don't know. Could be a serial murder, kidnapping, rape..." The officer shrugged. Sam walked over to his brother who looked up in confusion, obviously wanting to know what was being said but not having a clue. Sam decided that it was time to go in case the officers went to ask Dean a question and he wouldn't be able to respond. They got all the information they needed.

"Thanks for your time." Sam smiled and waved his hand for Dean to follow. He gave Sam a puzzled look but followed him, waving a hand to the officers.

"Dude, what the..." Dean started to say before Sam nudged him, pointing his eyes back to the officers and tapping his ear. HE hoped Dean would understand what he was trying to say: that the officers were still in earshot. Luckily Dean did understand and nodded. When they got into the Impala Sam shook his head and let out a long, relieve laugh. Dean looked at him like he was nuts.

"Why are you laughing? I can't tell if that's a happy laugh or a nervous laugh." Dean told him and raised his eyebrows.

Sam shook his head and smiled, looking directly at Dean. "I can't believe that worked out." He laughed.

"What the hell did you just say?" Dean asked incredulously, his voice rising.

Sam sighed, he wanted his brother to be in a good mood, after all he did just question the officers without them finding out that he was deaf. Sam pointed at Dean, then to where the officers were standing and gave his brother a thumbs-up sign. _Oh please understand it...._

Dean grinned brightly. "Of course I did good! I'm amazing. What did they say?"

Sam thought about it. They didn't say much really. He shrugged. "He had a girlfriend." He said slowly.

"Huh?"

Sam pointed to the picture of the kid that was in the newspaper article they had and repeated his sentence. "He." Sam pointed to the kid and Dean nodded. "Had a girlfriend."

This time Dean nodded quickly. "Oh okay. He had a girlfriend. Let's talk to her then."

"Yeah." Sam nodded. Maybe they could actually do this.

* * *

As it turned out not all conversations would go as smoothly as the one with the officer did. Dean got lost in the conversation almost straight away, only able to ask one question. He didn't speak up again and felt extremely stupid as Sam and the girl chatted with her friend. Dean excused himself after a few minutes to go to the bathroom.

How the hell could he help on research if he couldn't even understand what people were telling them? Would he have to simply sit there and nod the whole time, not being able to contribute? It was fine when he asked the officers a few questions because he wasn't having a direct conversation with someone. It was difficult when these girls were right in front of him, waiting for him to say something about this boy that went missing when Dean didn't hear a word they said.

He stayed in the bathroom for a few minutes and when he came out Sam was waiting for him by the table, the girls had left already. Sam gave him a questioning look and asked him something that looked like 'You okay?'

Dean just nodded and looked around the diner. This was wrong. Diners were supposed to be loud and full of energy but everything was silent. There wasn't a single sound to be heard and Dean clawed at his ears. It almost made him feel like something was stuck in them, blocking the sound from coming in.

Luckily Sam pulled his hands away before he could tear his ears off and asked him the same question, looking at him with concern. He then pointed at Dean's ears and said one word. 'Hurt?'

"No. I can't fucking hear, that's what's wrong." Dean growled and Sam immediately blushed. When Dean looked around he saw everyone staring at them. A lot of the parents were giving him dirty looks, some of them covering their children's ears. Shit, he must have been pretty loud.

"Sorry." Dean apologized. "Deaf guy here, can't hear how loud I am." He then proceeded to storm out of the diner, Sam in toe. But if there was one time Dean wanted his brother to leave him the hell alone, it was right now. So Dean kept walking faster, knowing that Sam would be following.

When he felt someone pull on his shoulder Dean shrugged it off and kept walking. But then he was grabbed again and this time spun around, face to face with his brother.

Sam was talking quickly but he didn't have an angry expression on his face like Dean thought he would. Sam looked worried, concerned. He really wished he could hear what Sam was telling him.

"I'm fine, let's just go back to the car so you can tell me all the information." Dean sighed and ducked his head down. It sucked that in order to learn what had been discovered about the hunt; Sam had to type it up for Dean to see. After their time at the bridge Sam got out his laptop in the Impala and typed up all the information to Dean.

Sam looked defeated at Dean's words and nodded. But suddenly his eyes lit up and he grabbed Dean by the shoudlers, causing Dean to look up at him in confusion.

Sam took his hands off of Dean and then brought them close together, waving them around in a circle motion as he moved them further apart.

It only took Dean a moment to realize what Sam was doing. Sign language. One of the few words they learned while in the car. _Ghost. _Sam was telling him that the thing they were hunting was a ghost?

"It's a ghost?" Dean asked and watched as Sam smiled, obviously happy that Dean understood him. Sam did the sign again and then shrugged.

"You _think _it's a ghost." Dean corrected and Sam nodded.

"Okay then." Dean started to calm down. If he and Sam would actually learn sign language, things wouldn't be as bad. "So now where do we go?"

Sam thought for a moment before he used his hands in a typing motion, then pretended like he was reading a book...

"The library?" Dean guessed it was the only thing that made sense. Sam nodded with another smile. Okay, research. That was something he could still do perfectly fine, Dean was in for that. "Sure, but are we going to be able to get you out of there? I mean it's like geek boy heaven..."

Sam rolled his eyes before waving his arm at Dean in a gesturing motion, then making a sign with his hands. _Come on, jerk._

"Oh you little bitch." Dean smirked, whacking his brother on the back before following him to the Impala.

* * *

"Okay so this girl, Constance, committed suicide, jumped off the bridge that car was parked at. The kids drowned in the bathtub so she killed herself." Dean was saying mostly to make sure he had the information right. It was dark outside now and Dean could only barley see Sam nod in the Impala. They were headed back to the bridge to check it out, see if anything weird was going on.

Sam parked the Impala on the deserted bridge and the brothers got out, looking around. After walking down the length of the bridge and finding nothing Dean stood on the edge and looked down into the water. Huh, now it didn't really seem _that _far down. He was pretty sure that if someone jumped they would be able to swim to shore. But yet, maybe this woman didn't know how to swim, and plus...she did commit suicide so she obviously wouldn't put up a fight. Dean thought of the pain she must have gone through drowning, the water filling up her lungs and slowly choking her to death. He shivered, if he were to kill himself he would want something quick and painless. Like a gun to the head or jumping off a 20 story building....

Wait, why the hell is he thinking about jumping off of buildings? Must be all the thoughts stuck in his head and the fact that he can no longer have a normal conversation. Dean sighed and went to turn around, only to see a young woman in a white dress standing next to him..._on top of the rail. _It was Constance...the ghost. He knew from the pictures he saw in the library.

"Sammy!" Dean called out for his brother, hoping that he was screaming loud enough. Dean watched the ghost carefully as she stared at him, almost as if she was seeing right into his soul. Dean jumped when he felt hands, Sam's hands, on his shoulders. He spared a quick glance at his younger brother who was also staring at the ghost in awe. Sam went to reach out to her, but when he did she let go.

Both brothers ran forward involuntarily, peering over the edge but there was no body falling, no splash in the water...it was like she disappeared.

Sam glanced at Dean with a look that said: _Where the hell did she go?_ Dean just shrugged and they both stayed starring into the water as if she would pop out at them any second.

All of a sudden Sam jumped and Dean looked around, not understanding what was going on. Out of nowhere the Impala's lights turned on and Dean knew that Sam must have jumped when he heard the engine starting.

What the hell?! "Sam! Did you leave the keys in the ignition? What the hell were you thinking man?!" Dean growled at him, how could Sam be so careless with his baby? But then Sam dug into his pockets and retrieved Dean's keys. What in the world....

Sam was pulling at Dean's sleeve urgently now, pointing back at the Impala. Dean glanced over only to see the car roaring towards them. Dean didn't need to be told as he took off running down the bridge, Sam right beside him. The lights kept getting brighter and when Dean looked back, the car was right behind them. He felt Sam grab his sleeve again and pull him over to the edge of the bridge.

Oh well, now he'd find out what it was like to jump over. He took a running leap and cleared the fence around the bridge, his arms waving as he fell. IN less than a second he felt the cold water rush around him.

Sam held onto the side of the bridge for dear life, panting as he tried to control himself. It was just then when he realized Dean wasn't holding on with him. He glanced down into the loudly roaring water below him but saw no sight of his brother.

"Dean!" Sam screamed his brother's name before he remembered that Dean couldn't hear him. "Shit." Sam cursed as he hopped back on the bridge and took a sprint down underneath the bridge. Looking around, he caught no sight of his brother in the water, no one struggling, floating, nothing.

"Oh God...please no...he's gotta be okay..." Sam whispered to himself. He had to go in, search for his brother. Dean was a great swimmer, but what if he hit his head on a rock or something....

"Sammy?"

Sam heard a strangled voice call his name and immediately recognized it as his brother's. Sam let out a sigh of relief, following the voice._ Come on Dean...speak again..._

"Sammy? You here man?" This time when Sam followed the sound he was able to spot his brother. He was lying on his back about twenty feet to Sam's left. His head was looking around weakly and he was panting for breath, not to mention that he was caked in mud. Sam hurried over to him and knelt down beside him. Dean's body shook upon suddenly seeing Sam but then he visibly relaxed.

"Dude, that was fricken' awesome." Dean said with a chuckle and Sam couldn't help but laugh as well. Yeah, Dean was okay.

* * *

They were walking into the lobby of a motel when Dean almost collapsed. He was wavering on his feet before he started to fall forward. Sam grabbed him before he hit the floor face first.

"Dean!" Sam panicked as he steadied his brother and lifted his head. Dean's eyes were unfocused and he couldn't stay steady. "You okay? Did you get the vertigo again?"

Dean didn't answer him though and Sam didn't expect him to. Dean's eyes kept wandering around and weren't focused on Sam's face so he couldn't lip read. "Sammy..." He let out a small whimper and looked like he was going to be sick.

"He okay?" The man behind the desk asked.

"Yeah, he'll be okay. It's just this vertigo he gets because he's deaf." Sam shouldn't be blabbing on about Dean's condition to this random man but he just missed talking so much. Being able to talk to someone and have them understand and have a conversation back. Him and Dean really needed to learn sign language.

"Come on, let's get you sitting." Sam told Dean in a pointless effort to speak to him. He helped Dean over to one of the chairs. His brother sat down and put his head between his legs, breathing deeply. Sam stood there for a minute rubbing his back before going up to the counter.

"I've never heard of vertigo." The man said casually as Sam handed him his fake credit card.

"It happened when someone becomes deaf. The sudden change of no hearing sometimes makes the person feel dizzy and sick." Sam tried to simplify it the best he could.

"Oh hmm..." the man said and looked at the credit card. "Are you meeting up with the other guy here?"

Sam was confused for only a second before he understood. Yes, his father was here! Or at least he had been here...

"Yeah, I'm meeting up with my dad." Sam answered and the man nodded. "Do you know what room he's staying in?"

"Room six, though I haven't seen him around in a while." He answered and Sam's heart fell. They just missed him...

Sam thanked the man and then hauled Dean up who still looked like he was lost in another dimension. God, Sam hoped this wouldn't happen on hunts. Would the vertigo always be this bad? Or it could be because Dean did have a pretty crazy day jumping off a bridge and that made the vertigo worse than it should be. When they got into their room Sam guided Dean to the bed and he plopped down and was out in an instant.

Sam watched his brother for a moment, simply thinking. This has got to be so hard on Dean, hunting like he always has but this time, without hearing. It must feel so different and strange, how can he handle it? It must be driving him crazy, but yet Dean has been so much under control. Dean hasn't complained at all, only having his little moment at the diner. He had to be so afraid and lost.

"Don't worry Dean; I'm going to take care of you. It's going to be okay." Sam spoke the promising words that would be heard by no one, but it didn't matter because it was the truth. HE was going to help Dean through this.

* * *

Dean woke up with a groan and looked around. Where the hell was he? In a motel room? How the hell did he get here? He looked to his left and saw Sam's laptop open and charging, the screen facing him, almost as if Sam wanted him to look at it. He got to his feet and grabbed the laptop before sitting back on the bed with it in his lap. Just like he expected, it was open to Word with a note from Sam.

_Dean_

_Hey, you started feeling sick, I think it was the vertigo so I brought you into the room and you passed out. The guy at the front desk told me there was someone else here with the same last name that we had on the credit card. It was Dad. But he's not here anymore. I checked out his room and guess what? Dad figured the case out! It's a Woman in White! I went to go talk with her husband to see if he had been unfaithful to her and what exactly went down. Heh, wish me luck on that! Oh yeah, and look over onto my bed if you haven't already and see what I found!_

Dean paused from Sam's note for a moment to look over at his brother's bed. He gasped when he saw his father's journal lying on it. Dad never left his journal! He looked back over at the screen to what Sam said about it.

_Something's going on Dean. You know as well as I do that Dad would NEVER leave his journal lying around. He must have left it specifically for you to find it since he knew you were probably looking for him. And look at the page I left opened for you. He left what looks to be coordinates with your name on it. He wants us to go somewhere but why? Well, I'm going to go talk to the husband now. Text me when you wake up to let me know if you are okay._

_Sam_

Dean let out a sigh and looked at the time. It was ten at night. Crap, from what he could remember it was daylight the last time he was awake. Sam was probably waiting for a text. He opened up his phone. There was a message from Sam waiting for him.

_I was right about husband. Coming back now._

Dean checked the time Sam wrote that, it was about fifteen minutes ago. Shouldn't Sam be back by now? Or at least close.

_im awake where r u?_

Dean waited a while, getting frustrated before his phone buzzed in his hand_. _The message he saw made no sense.

_Ddjfv_

Something was wrong. Dean could sense it almost immediately. Sam was always perfect with his texting. Then it dawned on him.

The ghost. Sam could have been driving down that strip of highway. What if it has him? From what happened to its other victims, Dean had to get to him as soon as possible.

* * *

Dean hotwired a car and drove straight to the bitch's old house that was on the end of the highway. He slid the car to a halt when he saw the Impala in front of him and ran to it. There, in the front seat the ghost was digging her hand right into Sam's heart.

"Get your hand off my brother you bitch!" Dean growled and shot at her with rock salt. She dissipated and Dean quickly opened the door, Sam was lying there gasping for breath, barley conscious but he was pointing at the house.

"What Sammy? What am I supposed to do? Go in there?" Dean felt useless and lost.

Sam shook his head, made a weak motion with his hands that looked like driving a car and pointed to the house again, his hands trembling.

"Drive in the house" Dean asked with shock but Sam nodded so he had no choice but to trust him. Dean quickly moved Sam to the side and did exactly what his brother asked him to. He drove his baby straight into the house with a cringe, debris flying everywhere. When the car came to a halt Dean looked up to see the ghost girl staring right at him. He got out and ran around to stand in front of the passenger door, protecting Sammy as he pointed his gun at her. But before he could shoot the lights started flashing in the house, a house that hasn't been used for decades.

Dean stared in awe as water started dripping from down the old staircase. Then next thing he knew there were two little children surrounding the ghost, they grabbed onto her and there was a rush of wind as they sunk into the floor, gone.

"What the hell was that about?" Dean shook his head in wonder. He felt someone tug his jacket and turned around to see his brother trying to get his attention through the Impala's window.

"You okay?" Dean asked.

Sam nodded, smiled, and then passed out against the door.

* * *

Dean sat in the Impala with Sam's laptop on his lap, going through signs on a website Sam found. He has to say this was much easier than reading from the book since he can see and mimic the signs himself. They had been holed up for a couple days while Sam healed and in that time the brothers had learned more sign language together.

Sam came out of the store he stopped at then, and dropped a bag on Dean's lap through the open window with a smile. Dean peered inside the bag and found two new cell phones. Picking it up he started playing around with it to find out that a full mini keyboard pulled out.

"Hey neato Sammy. Good idea." Dean said with a smirk. Now they could text faster and more thoroughly.

Sam grinned and signed Dean something. _I'm smart._

"Yeah, but you're also a geek."

Sam rolled his eyes and signed something else. Dean caught the two movements. _You. Drive?_

That perked Dean right up. "About time you'd let me!" He grinned and hopped out, handing the laptop to Sam.

As soon as he got behind his baby Dean practically forgot about his hearing. Sure, he couldn't hear the rumble of the engine but he could feel it. He ran his hands up and down the wheel with a smile, marveling in the feel of his baby.

He caught Sam huffing however so Dean flipped him off while Sam signed to him that he was a jerk. He pulled the car out into the open road with ease and rolled the window down all the way, in search of their father.

They were going to be alright.


	5. Sequel

Just to let everyone know I wrote a one-shot sequel to this story called: Does The Pain Weigh Out The Pride?

Please check it out and let me know what you think. If I'm convinced enough people like it I'll write more sequels.


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